Doug And The DJ

A guy walks up to the bar and sits down next to a lovely redhead. He turns to her and says "Well hello again!"

His name is Doug. He's tall, dark and handsome, with bold eyes, a muscular frame and a curious grin. And he'd bumped into this particular redhead once before. They'd had a nice chat - about his new car I believe. Hoping to strike up another conversation, he leans in and asks... "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Actually, I'm waiting for a friend" she lied. "He should be here any minute..." But she isn't waiting for anybody at all.

She lied because it appears that what Doug has for brawn, he lacks in brains. All shine, no substance. He seems about as deep as a dinner plate. The sort of guy who, after mentioning his car, his gym and his dog, is completely out of things to talk about.

How is Doug different than The DJ who's most compelling break is "The most classic rock from your home of Classic Rock, it's The Who on 94.7 The Arrow"? I'm not bashing air talent. Even on hit driven music radio, there's a difference between a personality and a human post-it note with slogans and song titles.

Listeners don't care about The DJ because they've been given no reason to.

The DJ isn't a person. The DJ is just a smooth talking snappy slogan sayer. The DJ is radio's version of the voice that takes your order at a fast food drive through window, except that that person probably doesn't have a fake name like "Crash" or "Blaze."

"It's the best mix of the 80s, 90s and today it's Mix 107.3 with John Mayer..."
"That's value meal number three with quarter pounder, biggie fries and a shake..."

Get 'em in, get 'em out - on and gone. Service with a smile.

It's worth noting that the redhead's name is Julia. Her friends call her Jules - and Jules knows that, by the end of the evening, Doug will probably find some other girl to discuss his convertible with. Jules can do better.

The challenge - both for Brawny Doug who's tired of bimbos and the snappy slogan DJ who's tired of the phones being dead - is to show they're more than muscles and song titles. After all, Doug has a master's degree in Philosophy and he volunteers as a Big Brother at a youth center, and The DJ is one of the funniest and most sincere people one could hope to meet.

Maybe a bar isn't the best place for Doug to let his personality shine.

Maybe a liner card station isn't the best place for The DJ to be a Personality.